Family Ties

I've started re-watching the show Family Ties from the mid-80's that starred Michael J. Fox.  Growing up this was one of my favorite shows.  It was a comedy, but often tackled heavy issues.  A few things struck me about the show compared to shows we watch today.  First and foremost is the conservative clothing that the high school girls and university girls wear in the show.  Even, the very popular and attractive girls are often wearing very plain clothes.  Compare that to today's teen comedies.  The second thing that struck me about this series is how it portrays a family that often disagrees, but in the end sticks up for each other and functions as a unit.  Almost every show ends with a good positive moral about sticking up for each other, doing the right thing, and the value of family.  Compare this to tthe shows that my kids watch on TV now.  The first one that comes to mind is Hannah Montana with Miley Cyrus.  Miley alwas seems to be whining and complaining and seems downright cranky most of the time.  I wonder about the message this sends to kids watching.

On a more positive note, while watching the show the other day with Daniel, he said to me "The Dad on that show reminds me of you because he is always trying to do what's best for his family".  I couldn't have asked for a nicer compliment.  In today's society with ipads, ipods, smartphones, twitter, facebook and youtube playing a large part in shaping our kids perceptions of the world around them, it is often difficult to instill strong family values in our children. 

Why do you torment me?

After rasing two boys, I naively believed that I was prepared to raise a girl.  After all, although there are differences, kids are kids, right?  There was a certain amount of healthy fear and respect that the boys had for me which, when necessary, could be leveraged to my advantage in an effort to maintain control in our household.  After my daughter was born, I solemnly vowed to treat her and raise her in the same way as the boys.  That lasted until she was about 4 years old.  After getting in trouble for some minor offence, she was dismissed to her bedroom to cool off.  My parental lecture continued as she walked up the stairs to her room, when she suddenly stopped on the stairs and put her hands on her hips.  She looked at me and said, "Daddy, I'm almost in tears" as a warning to me that I had better watch myself before the floodworks began.  I was speechless... She then continued calmly to her bedroom.

While driving home after picking my daughter up from school, she read a community sign indicating that a sock-hop was taking place friday evening for grades 4-6.  She asked me what as sock hop was and when I indicated that it was a dance, her eyes lit up for about 30 seconds until she realized that she was only in grade 3.  She then looked up and raised her hands in the air in futility, saying "Why do you torment me?".... she was 8....

Stethescopes

Walking with Vicki back from the store tonight there was a bright star and she asked me if she could take out the stethescope so she could look closer at it.  It reminded me about all of the things that the kids have said like this over the years.  I wish blogs were around earlier.  I'm hoping to reach back and remember some of the things the kids have said over the years and include them here. 

One thing comes to mind right now.  I played a part in a commercial for Peter Pan restaurant where I played the part of Peter Pan.  I walked into Dan's daycare where the kids were discussing what their parents did for a living just in time to hear Dan exclaim to his friends "My dad is Peter Pan!"  A quick side note to this story.  A week later when I was performing Shakespeare, I dropped Dan off at Daycare and he quickly hopped up on to a table and declared loudly "To be or not to be, that is the question".  His teacher looked at him and asked "What's that?" to which Dan replied, "That's Shakespeare!"

More stories to come....

My flower: 90 years young

I was recently out of the province for work and I took a few minutes to visit with my grandmother who turns 90 next month.  90 years old.  I can't fathom the change she must have seen in her lifetime.  From the depression, world wars, vietnam, and the 60's to the Internet, youtube, email and facebook.   And although she is not inclined to learn about computers despite my persistent recommendations, she is still one of the sharpest, wittiest, current, more independent people I know.  If her 90th birthday party next month is half as fun as her 80th was 10 years ago, it should be quite the event. 

Along with the great memories that I have of my grandmother, comes the realization that she won't be around forever and I think it must be sad for her to look around and see all of her friends have gone. 
A few memories that I want to remember about Nanny include the following:

1.  Watching a parade with her when I was 7 and seeing a float that was advertising a 60th anniversary of the company, I yelled loudly "Nanny, that float is as old as you".
2.  Calling her my flower when I was 9.  I don't know why or where this came from, but for a year, she was my flower.
3.  When nanny would babysit on Tuesday nights when mom and dad would go bowling and she would make me go to bed and then let me sneak out to watch laverne and shirley with her.
4.  When I was 4 and nanny & grampy would take me shopping and I would say "let's go shunk".... still not sure that means, but I was adament that we had to shunk.
5.  Nanny's 80th birthday, far from being a dull senior's party was one of the highlights of my year.  I distinctly remember playing guitar at 3:00 am with nanny dancing a jig holding a rye and ginger.  To this day when anyone says "I have the coolest grandmother", I have to interject with "I beg to differ"
6.  Same night after a few additional drinks, I indicated to the crowd a large that when I'm 80 I will be happy if I'm half the woman my grandmother is.  still a running family joke.

Life is too short to get bogged down in pettiness.  What I have learned from my grandmother is patience, tolerance, acceptance, a sense of humour and a sense of independence.

Happy Birthday Nanny!  May the next 90 be equally as adventurous. 

Cathartic travelling

http://www.nationalpost.com/life/travel/Uncovering+Havana/3423548/story.html

I read the above article today and it really struck a chord with me.  It summed up so much about why I like travelling down south with a good crew of people.  I love the idea of reminding yourself that "wherever you are is where you are supposed to be."  Living in the now is easier said that done.  It's easy to get bogged down in both the past and the future. 

3 great kids: a great end to a great summer.

Well, we're back at work and the kids are now back at school.  What a great, busy summer.  We capped off the final week with a week-long stay at a cottage on Caribou Island with friends.  I don't think there is anything more relaxing than lying on the beach watching the ferries criss-crossing back and forth across the Northumberland Strait all day long in slow-motion. 

Upon our return, each of the kids managed to impress me within a 72 hour span.  Vicki made an elderly woman's day on the Wood Islands ferry.  While wandering around the ferry, Vicki noticed a woman crying and stopped to ask if she was ok.  It turns out that her husband had passed away and they were heading to PEI to bury him that day.  Vicki spent the next 20 minutes sitting and talking with the woman.   Later, the woman and her son each took turns expressing their gratitude to me and praising Vicki for her compassion and friendliness. 

Upon our return to PEI, Andrew was informed that he was employee of the month at his job.  The award was based mainly on user surveys where he was singled out by name on numerous occasions. 

Finally, Daniel stood as the Godfather for my niece Hattie's baptism.  He has such a way with kids that my sister asked if he would stand even though he's only 13.  The pride he felt standing on the alter was almost as great as the pride that I have in all 3 of my kids this week.

Summer's almost over

Wow, summer flies by.  I'm looking back reflecting on the past 10 weeks and thinking about how busy this summer was:

Vicki got to see Taylor Swift, took drum lessons, numerous tutoring sessions at the Cornwall Library, 2 separate weeks at Camp Seggie, as well as 2 sleepovers on the beach at Twin Shores with her friend.  She is also going to see Anne of Green Gables with Cheryl & Audrey for her birthday this weekend. 

Andrew is now working a fair bit, which is both a blessing and a curse.  It is great having a 3rd driver in the house, though.  Andrew took a 2 week video game development course which should help him as he is still thinking about taking video game design at university.    It's hard to believe that a year from now he will be starting university.  He and I are hoping to go kayaking and do our annual bike ride from Charlottetown to Summerside.

Daniel had his first forray into the working world this summer as he did some babysitting, dog-walking and lawn-mowing.  He & I had a great father/son camping trip in Cavendish where we played mini-golf, sat around a bonfire, went for an early morning dip in the ocean, followed by a greasy breakfast and a surprise sea-doo trip around Cavendish. 

We got to the beach probably around 15 times.   Usually this entailed booting it to Brackley Beach after work and relaxing watching the waves.  Nothing cures a bad day like staring into the ocean.

This summer I tried to make some special time with each of the kids on an individual basis.  It is so difficult to have one-on-one time when there are 3 kids around.  Sometimes this just meant going for a walk, or playing washers, or cards, or just sitting in the hot-tub, but it was great to keep up on where each of the kids is at.

We are still planning our end-of-summer cottage trip to Pictou with friends.  Great way to end a great summer!

First Post

Well, I have resisted creating a blog for several years now, but I have finally caved.  It's not so much that my thoughts are particularly noteworthy, but rather that I want a spot to post the anecdotes and adventures of my family.  I have to credit the author of the blog "Tomato Transplants" as I have read his well-written, astute commentary on his family life and his children's unique perspective on growing up.  I wish blogging was this simple and an option for me when my kids were younger as there are some great stories from the past 17 years.  Hopefully through the course of this blog, they will come to the surface and be posted here. 

I am a father of 3 beautiful kids age 17,13 and 11,  a husband to an even more beautiful wife living in the spectacularly beautiful province of Prince Edward Island....  I know... I'm pretty damn lucky.