Retirement - Onward and Upward!

 

I have been waiting to write this post for a few months now.  It started in September 2025 when I realized that I was burned out from work and needed to leave.  I took a lot of stress leave and started taking anti-anxiety meds.  At first I thought it was all me, and then I realized that in 26 years of government I had never needed meds nor that much time off.  In December 2025, the Federal Government announced an Early Retirement Incentive (ERI) program that would allow people to retire without the usual penalties of not having 30 years in the system.  I was an ideal candidate for this program which government indicated could start as early as January 15th, 2026.  I began the process of waiting and January turned into February, then March, then April, but after jumping through all the hoops, I am now officially retired as of April 24th, 2026.  It feels fantastic so far.

I have learned so much about myself over the last 6 months as I have prepared for this day:

•  I had to remind myself that I never really wanted to work for government, but was absorbed into the system due to the salary and pension as well as the need to support my family.  
• I also had to remember that the programs and workload that I signed up for years ago are no longer the the requirements for today's government.  There is much more reliance on technology, social media and AI and with these new tools, comes the need to work at an ever-increasing pace.  
• I also learned that for most of my career, I was given a lot of autonomy as the quality of my work spoke for itself, while today's Federal government relies heavily on monitoring of location and logins and requires specific office hours as a bum in a seat in an office environment, regardless of whether that is effective or not.
• I learned that while I always thought I could work just as easily in a group setting or independently, as I have aged, I much prefer to work independently.
• I have learned that when I started my career I was very extroverted and open to new ideas, while, through numerous unfortunate circumstances over the years, I am now very introverted.  Unfortunately, most of my work, family and friends still see me as that extroverted person and I often struggle with who I am becoming and who I used to be.
• I have learned that while I started my career in need of finances to support my family, money is no longer the main goal for me as I have made enough and proven myself and have realized the value of slowing down, appreciating life and living minimally to an extent.

Overall, I am excited for what the future will bring.  I do not NEED to work, but if the right option came along, I might entertain it.  Whatever I do in the future I am hopeful that it will be fun and something I am personally interested in, rather than something to cover the bills.  I am looking to travel quite regularly over the next few years as I have seen that the older people get, the more health issues are bound to creep in making travel more difficult.  Particularly longer journeys.

I don't regret my time in government as it has served me well, providing a solid financial foundation to raise our family and providing me security as I get older.  This is something that I am realizing that not everyone has as they age.  I have also met some great people over the years through work and had some great adventures.  Here are a few people and adventures that stand out for me at this moment. 

• Grant Sweet, Julie Alford, Pam Mackenzie, Kate Flanagan, Carson Birch, Darren Gill, Fred Irving, Leah Johnston, Brian Evans, Alan Smith, Jean Kimpton, Christina Fontaine, 
• Butch Postma, Caroline Landry, Nadia, Angela Campbell, Heather Connolly, Bruce Lyng, Linda Dennis, Dawn Lemessieur, Paul Patterson, Raymond Provencher, Brian McShane, Patricia Hearn, Claire LePage, Bob Brewer, Doug Hamilton, Joann Sampson, Margot Chiasson, 
• Surita Maddox, Julia Hiscock, Danika Carleton, Nora Robinson, Charles Coll, Steve Kavanagh, Brittany Rotor, Tanya Leblanc, Debbie Wallace, Ghislaine Cormier, Rob MacAusland, Lloyd?, Allen Baldwin, John Hamilton, Emily, Lauren, 
• Dan Winters, 

Trips that come to mind:

• Vancouver/Victoria - CAP/Broadband - skiing in Vancouver and then going to beach.  Cheryl came to Victoria as well.
• St. John's 
• Quebec City - Broadband - walking around with Kazoos
• Oak Island retreat
• PEI face to face - ISED
• Various trips to Ottawa
• NL trip with Brian evens around western NL.  port-aux-port peninsula.  Skiing at marble mountain.
• NB - Tracadie Sheila with CAP -  family came with me and I got upgraded to a chrysler 300 car and we stayed in a cottage.  Great picture of kids running on the beach.
• Various white point trips.  Bonfires, guitars, and almost getting pulled out to sea with Grant on boogie boards.
• Stanley bridge CAP meetings
• annual CAP inspections with grant.  I rented the car, he paid for meals.  

Overall, it has been an amazing ride over the past 26 years, but I am looking forward to moving on with my journey.  Onward an Upward!

 

Retirement is getting closer.  I can feel my stress level decreasing day by day.  Things are falling into place in a way that they haven't for the last couple of years.  I feel strong, capable, independent, and open to new experiences.   I have made mistakes, but I have made many more good choices over the years.  I feel the reset beginning as I worry less about my work, my kids, and money.  I realize that life is progressing as it should and I feel like I am beginning to stand up on the surfboard again and ride the wave.  Odd analogy as I have never surfed.  But that is how I feel right now.  Things that were out of sync are now beginning to sync up.  My confidence is coming back and I am feeling comfortable again.  I am making decisions based on what is best for me rather than what is best for my career, and my family.  They are important, but I am pulling my own oxygen mask down first and I can feel stronger in doing so. 

I am hoping to be fully retired in the next few weeks which should lessen the pressure even more.  I am hoping to get off my anti-anxiety meds and start living life for me again first and foremost and secondly for those around me that I love and support (as they have loved and supported me).

Onward and Upward!

Complicated workplace

 I decided in late October that I was looking to retire from ISED as I have been burning myself out for the last few months and feeling frustrated and out of place.  I thought that this would be a simple process, but as luck would have it, the federal government is looking to downsize and is offering various transition options to transition employees out of Government.  This is a good thing for me, but the process of government announcing these programs is much slower than the timeline I planned to leave by.  I am still hoping to leave by March 17th, 2026, however the Early retirement Incentive (ERI), though approved in theory, still has not been announced to employees meaning I am stuck in limbo.  There are other alternatives to leave, albeit with various complexities.  I am still hoping to transition out of ISED in the near future.

Embrace the inevitable adversity

This is a quote that I read a while back from Peter Rukavina and I love the the simplicity and succinctness of the four words.  Adversity is inevitable in life so you might as well embrace it rather than fight it. 

I am still trying to figure out my retirement plan over the coming months as there are a couple of options for me, but I am still hoping to be finished by March 17th.  I am looking forward to working on things that interest me rather than things that are passed to me by government.  I'm not sure what that will be, but each day away from government I feel a little bit more relaxed and comfortable in my own environment.  

Vicki has broken her Tibia and dislocated her ankle so she currently has limited mobility and is staying with us for the the immediate future.  It is interesting as she is used to living by herself and Cheryl and I are used to our routine.  So far so good. 

Lots of changes afoot for the new year!

 

Lots more info to follow.  I have been wanting to write here, but I have so many thoughts in my head is it hard to unscramble them into cohesive subjects... To be continued

Ok, I will start with the photos above, just to get the ball rolling.  I received the pictures of Mom & Dale above from Barb Tait after Christmas.  Great to see new/old memories as I have exhausted most of my inventory of old pictures.  Nice to see Mom with a smile on her face as when I close my eyes and think of her, the first image that comes to mind is the oxygen mask and a wheelchair.  There was a time when she was happy and healthy. On January 31 it will be 12 years since she has been gone.

It was probably the first Christmas since Andrew died, that I felt slightly relaxed.  Not Holly & Jolly, but a peaceful relaxing time with the kids.  We slowed down our spending this year and are focusing now mainly on our immediate family (kids and parents) with much less consumerism.  We decorated minimally this year, and have learned to spread Christmas out a bit without jamming it all into one day.  Dad & Joyce came down boxing day for dinner which lessened the pressure on everyone.  Hoping that continues in the coming years.  

Dad surprised me with a painting by Kilby which depicts a tree (Ask me if I'm a tree?  Inside Joke).  I was caught off guard and we hung it at the front door where it brightens the area and is a constant reminder that life is short and we need to live it.  

We had our annual friend group dinner at Merchant Man.  It is so nice to get together especially now that we don't hang out as often.  They will always be a reminder of the people we shared over 25 years of friendship with on various adventures including vacations, parties, guys weekends, girls weekends and various gatherings.  The support of these people helped all of to grow as people.

2026  is going to be a major liminal point for me as I am finally pulling the plug on my government career.  It has been 25+ years and I have burned myself out.  It is time to move on.  It is complicated at the moment as there are various programs to decrease government employees including an early retirement incentive that I am hoping to advantage of.  If things go well, March 17, 2026 will be my last official day of government.  Still waiting for the dust to settle at this point.

Liminal Awareness

 I have talked here about liminal points, key points of transition in my life.  Typically, I see those points in the review mirror after the fact.  Times like going to university.  Getting Pregnant.  Getting Married.  Buying our first house.  Having 3 kids.  As well as numerous milestones and liminal points along the way. 

I am currently aware of being in the middle of a liminal point.  Kind of like being in the eye of the hurricane.  I am making numerous realizations in real time as I prepare to retire from government and move on to whatever comes next.  Some of the realizations that I have made include:

• I never really wanted to work for government, in fact I was vehemently against it as I watched my dad work for government over the years.  That said, I see colleagues now that have chosen this career specifically and trained for it and are willing to go the extra mile for what they are searching for in Government. 
• I worked hard in Government for 25 years and went above and beyond for most of my career.  Things are getting stale now and that is natural. 
• I am seeing signs everywhere that it is time to go including all of my network contacts over the years being retired, moving on or dying.  This includes Gordon Cobb who passed away recently while still working for ACOA. 
• For years I was focused on money.  While money is important, I am now realizing that it is time to slow down a bit and enjoy the fruits of our labours.  Cheryl is actively pursuing here Masters in Island studies which has many potential travel opportunities.  The kids have moved out and are doing ok on their own.  The amount of money that we need to get by has decreased significantly, so I can now slow down and "do what feels right" as opposed to "Doing what pays the bills".  I may or may not work somewhere else, but if I do, I hope it is fun. 
• More to follow as my official retirement date is tentatively March 17, 2025, although I am technically off work now.

Another year winding down

Tomorrow is December 11th.  Andrew would have been 33.  Crazy.  

Much has changed in 6 years as both Dan & Vicki are out on their own and both employed.  Cheryl is working on her Masters in Island Studies and finding new and exciting adventures through this program including potential travel to other Islands.  I am hoping to retire early in the coming months as I wait for a new Federal program that allows for early retirement without penalty to be implemented.  I am looking forward to getting away from the Federal system as I feel completely burned out and frustrated with current changes to the system.  

It has been a long road to this point employment-wise as I look back and realize that the job served me well over the years when I needed it, even though I had never planned to work for government, but now it is time for me to move on.  I will have much more to say on this topic, but I am reluctant to delve too deeply until the retirement process has been completed.  I will add that this reminds me of when I left Watts Communications 25 years ago, but on a much larger scale.

Happy birthday Andrew.  As always your presence is felt and continues to shape how our family evolves.  You would be happy to know that we all seem to get along well and that everyone seems to be moving forward in their lives.