Everything's Bearable

I'm going to start this post about Andrew, but I vow to forge ahead and start focusing on the present and planning for the future.  I have a lot of life to live and am looking forward to my next chapter with eyes open wide and in better health and more self-aware than I have ever been in my life.

We are coming up to the 3 year anniversary of Andrew's death on May 15th and as usual I am stopping to reflect on my life.  I have come to a sense of acceptance about Andrew and I move forward to focusing on adapting better coping strategies as I move forward.  I now feel better able to deal with major trauma, but I am now trying to become self aware enough to see it coming and start implementing health coping strategies such as exercise, fresh air, beach and music.

I have been reading mantras and life lessons over the past few years, that they all seem to blur into a black hole of optimism and variations on the theme of "everything happens for a reason", and lately my go-to simple line is "Everything's Bearable" from the season finale of Ozark.  Simplistic and honest it expresses the basic concept that you will get through this even though you doubt yourself you are stronger than you give yourself credit for.

My  goals for this next chapter of my adventure include:

• Taking better care of myself both physically and mentally.  Only I can take care of me and I must do that in order to be there for myself and for those I love.  
• Actively checking in on Cheryl to ensure she is in an ok place.  She worries a lot and feels the need to be strong for all of us.  I know because I have been there.  These stresses will find a way to escape.  Guaranteed.
• Supporting both Dan & Vicki wherever I can and try to focus on the amazing things they have already accomplished and helping them to enjoy the journey instead of dwelling on my hopes for their success.  Even though this comes from a place of love, I am aware that they feel pressure to live up to high expectations and I want to do my best to minimize any expectations.  I just want them to be happy and healthy.  Bonus points for confident, helpful, honest and empathetic.
• Travel.  Nuff said.  Lots of it.  I need it both for the trip itself and the planning, excitement and stories that can be called upon if times are bad.
• Music.  Nuff said.  Lots of it.  Listening, learning,  playing, attending concerts.
• Always remember to ask "What do you recommend" in lots of situations.  Generally, people in roles have an expertise from doing something daily and can simply a process or advise what others typically do or what is popular.

Always remember that 17 year old Tim would be blown away by your success in all aspects of your life.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jon7092VB2s