I struggle sometimes with the idea of original thought. How much of what I think and do is of my own doing vs. things I have learned and adapted from others. Sometimes I come up with ideas for songs and stories only to find out variations of the theme already exist.
I had a comforting thought today in that I always found that I was behind the curve of where I was expected to be both growing up and throughout my worklife. While I could do all of the "stuff" I always felt like there was something I was missing.
Although things are still intangible for me at this point, I don't feel behind the curve or behind my peers. In fact, I feel ahead of the game. I feel like I have come to some understandings and realizations that others have not and may never realize. This feels like a truly authentic and genuine experience which has not always been the case for me.
This is such a unique experience as I feel I spent most of my life playing catch-up and trying to fully understand the world around me. Somehow, I seem to have found a new lens that is sharper and clearer and is a much healthier and gentle way to live.
I hope this feeling lasts.
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