2023 ~So long and thanks for all the fish!

2023 will end in 22 hours.  What a ride.  I can't imagine the next 22 hours will shed much additional light on this extraordinary year, but stranger things have happened, so I guess we will see. 

Barring anything catastrophic, 2023 was undoubtedly best year of my life.  While other years had their large wins or large losses, 2023 was a consistent fantastic year from start to finish.  Things started to turn for me on September 14th, 2022 when Hurricane Fiona hit.  It was both literally and figuratively a wind of change to shake things up.  

From a literal perspective, the hedge between our house and the neighbours was virtually destroyed leaving our house visible from all sides and mounts of tree damage and debris everywhere.  Our power was out for over 10 days and it took Cheryl and I a while to realize the extent of the damage and the world around us.  Once the shock wore off, we got busy fixing things and making a plan.  

From a figurative perspective, all of the work that went into rebuilding and re-planning our home was a reminder to me of the man that I am and the things that have shaped me over the years.  I am strong, I have been through a lot, and I have a fantastic skillset that has been pushed to its limit over the years and has not broken.  As I rebuilt my home, I rebuilt myself. Self Respect.

As we rebuilt our home, we planned for our dream trip of a liftetime to Italy in April.  We absolutely did not know that our lives were already on a new trajectory.  

As an aside to this epic year, I also acted in Lorne Elliot's play, Mom's Run Amok, which consumed my time for most of January and February, but that is just a blip in this year which I have already covered in depth, but is nonetheless still impressive on top of everything else.

Before we got to Italy, UPEI faculty went on strike and it helped Cheryl to realize how far she had drifted from her original plans and goals.  As new allegations and realizations about the university, Cheryl's role and the toll it was taking on her became apparent. 

Ahh, Italy.  I cannot say enough about what a life-changing experience this was for us.  Slow living, minimalism, communication, contentment, happiness, self-actualization, evolving, leveling up.  These became the new terms or our language.  

With our new goals established, much like our re-connect or disconnect motto from a previous version of us, we emerged with a new sense of life and purpose.  

This was perfectly timed, with my pre-retirement course, which made it became apparent to us that with some minor tweaks and lifestyle adjustments, Cheryl did not have to continue with the extreme stress of her lab tech job and we could slow down and live more simply and more fully.

On July 1 we hosted our last Canada Day party after 25 successful events, and on July 8th Cheryl worked her last day as a lab tech at UPEI and has never looked back. 

By using a lot of built up vacation, I took a lot of time off this summer and Cheryl and I used our e-bikes a lot.  I put on over 500km including a 4 hour trek from home to brackley, dalvay, tracadie.  

We discovered and re-discovered the Mysa spa which is great to bring both Cheryl and I back into alignment with ourselves and with each other.

I am learning that my job has prepared me well for the real world and it has become easier now that I have been doing it for so long.  This takes the pressure off and allows me to work more effectively.  Also, working from home and in my own environment has been a game-changer for me. 

I have been very creative this year, but have become more aware of what I post online. One of the best things I have done is to remove facebook from my phone and to limit viewing of social media.  I can not speak to anyone else, but I was finding myself more and more absorbed into other people's lives than I ever wanted to be.  Maybe  it is a good forum for others, but for me it was just a constant barrage of irrelevant information thrown at me randomly. 

I am learning that I need to be more discriminate about the media I consume, especially as I see that others are becoming less discerning.  How is that for an arrogant sentence?  lol.  But seriously, youtube  is filled with compilations of randomly put together video clips with confusing inarticulate lists of items that may or may not be accurate and yet we consume them with gusto.  Gusto.  Now there is another arrogant term.

But I digress.  Back to the fantastic year that was 2023.  I am learning that everything settles.  The good, the bad, the ugly, the messy.   All of it.  It will pass.  I don't care how bad you think it is.  It will pass.  Whatever you are going through.  It will pass.  If it didn't, there would be no reason to go on and yet we all still do.  Unfortunately, so does the good.  But that is a story for another day.  You get the picture.  Plausible deniability and all.

I am learning to write again.  I forgot how good it is to write.  A brief history of my writing while I am in the zone: 

• Superlapin - grade 1 published French story about a superhero rabbit
• Pinnocchio - Played the policeman and discovered my love of comedy and theatre
• Writing comedy skits with Steve Nicol and recording them on cassette.  pranks, jokes, etc.
• Concour D'art oratoire - public speaking was my jam.  this was when I realized I had skills.  doing better than the smartest kids at something.  Going to provincials..
• Creative writing in junior high and high school.  Poetry, Drama.
• Writing a journal for most of my grade 12 year.  Fun to revisit this from time to time to remember where I came from.
• UPEI - All writing, all of the time.  I wish I could write like that now.  I miss having things to write about and people who want to read my stuff and people commenting and discussing writing.  Shakespeare, Chaucer, Canterbury Tales, Olde English, Deconstructionism, Tennessee Williams, Childrens Literature, creative writing.
• Developing resumes and cover letters for people professionally and teaching motivational courses through the Freshstart and Employment Enhancement programs.
• Government Briefing Notes.  Clarifying grammatical rules and learning to write effectively.
• Writing various songs.  Cheryl's song, Andrew's song, Vicki's song and various others over the years.  Currently working on one I am proud of called Time Bomb (Am, F, G)
• Writing in this blog since 2010. 

I remember mom writing in her journal over the years and I see now that was probably a way to get thoughts and ideas out of her head in a method of clarification.  I am just guessing.  Mom never really shared like that, but I see parts of her in me, so I am surmising that she was trying to figure herself out.  I guess I am trying to do the same thing, but with better writing skills and technology and a bit more patience, and tolerance.  I also have Cheryl by my side which is something Mom did not have.

I finally sat down with Cheryl to watch all of the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings Movies and a small insignificant quote stood out for me.  "I fear neither death, nor pain!" We joked about it being a good response to the old "How are you doing?" line.  It was funny this evening, not sure if it will age well in the future.

Here is to a solid 2024.  It looks pretty freaking fantastic, too, but I will save that for another post.  

Carpe Diem!

Building a melody

 I am really enjoying using Vicki's keyboard with my electric guitar.  The drum beats and styles help keep me on beat and I am learning more about tempos and styles as well as developing my own. What I am enjoying right now is just building a groove.  Starting with a beat or a guitar pattern and building and building to see where it goes.  Sometimes it sounds pretty nice.  

Jung Tim

I have been writing a lot lately.  Not just here, but everywhere.  Notes, scrapes of paper, songs, poems, essays, short stories, thoughts, blurbs, ideas for novels, philosophical ideas, sociological and psychological ideas.  I have been re-discovering Carl Jung who I remember connecting with so vividly in University.  I remember taking the psychology of growth with Vicki Johnston and just loving the class.  It seemed effortless and intuitive and I was able to see several steps ahead of the process.  I aced the class and used much of that as my basis of knowledge over the past 30 years.  It has held up surprisingly well as something to hold my hat on as I moved away from religious and political rhetoric and focus on my own reality and knowledge quest.  It is great to re-connect with Jung's ideas as they seemed to flow nicely through to Allan Watts ideas on acceptance.  

Here are a few random thoughts percolating at this moment:

• If you're happy and you don't know it there's something wrong.  Why don't you know it?  What can't you see?  What are you hoping for beyond the present?
• There's nothing more reprehensible than the ambition to become a saint.  If you have to look for it, you're doing it wrong.
• As I start to slow down and accept me for who I am, it is comforting to see others around me at this stage of life starting to figure it out.  As usual, Cheryl and I are ahead of the curve. 
• We must be willing to throw away the life we've planned to make room for the life we get.  We don't want to do this, but our desires have nothing to do with the reality of the situation.
• Real deep humor is laughing TO oneself ABOUT oneself.
• Great Seth Myers story about his mom who was a big drinker and used to carry around little drink umbrellas with her to randomly put in people's drinks she found to be too wussy.
• We need a hard road not a smooth one to prepare us for life. Like how going to the gym prepares you to do hard work.  Traveling down a hard Road gives you the strength and resilience when you need it which is inevitable in the world in which we live.
• It is good to remember that patterns and cycles are important but sometimes patterns looking backwards do not always carry forward in the same direction or the same frequency
• Acknowledging the artificiality of a moment helps us to see the real moments.  This is why I don't like playing into the fakery of insincere moments as it cheapens the real moments when they occur.
• Theatre teaches us not to be afraid of people. There is an intensity and fleeting element to theatre relationships
• We are often told to use our main skills on our path through life, but there is so much to each of us that we often never used the plethora of tools in our skill arsenal.  If you are a painter you paint, an actor acts, a singer sings.  But what about everything else within that person?  Does that all sit there stagnant and unused?  This is where I see the potential of AI.  Maybe by tapping into all of these unused skills and making them accessible to all, we might be able to add our own flavours to the mix and level our entire species up a notch.  That sounds big and crazy, but that is how change happens.  Through crazy ideas.  
• Years of watching stand up and sketch comedy have made me cynical and hilarious and dark.  Which makes the hosts of the strike force five podcast (Stephen Colbert, Seth Myers, John Oliver, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon) all kind of like versions of me. I can relate to all of them in some way.

Politicians, Preachers and Prosecutors

• I am rebuilding some of the building blocks of who I am and putting them back together in a different order with a few pieces gone and a few new pieces added.
• We are constantly recreating our narrative adapting as new data becomes available and adjusting accordingly.
• It is simple to think about now when I look back but as we create our own future we are constantly battling with our own mental self doubt and we will get to the level that we believe we should be at.
• Midlife malaise.  I heard this term the other day and liked it.  It sounds gentler than midlife crisis.  Because it really isn't a crisis.  It is just an awareness that you do not need to prove yourself any more and that you know enough to not be worried if others do not feel the same. 
• At 50, I am only now beginning to start to understand the way MY brain works.  I have listened to all of the "generic" theories, but have realized that I think differently.  Instead of navigating to the generic solution, I like to tailor mine to my needs and abilities.
• Chat GPT idea drawing. Two boxes. One how I used to view life as if going through a maze and two life as if going through solid block concrete some people go in alone some people in groups all heading into a blank unknown. 
• An interesting probably unpopular take on software like ChatGPT.  If a person can paint well and no one else can, their ability can now be shared with the world to build on enhance.  Rather than one person hoarding the ability, the entire world can share and use it.  If we all put our skills into the same pot and we can all draw from them as needed, would that not enhance the overall skillset of everyone in the world and level the playing field so that we can collaborate and communicate easier.
• A deepening of the harmonic bond - Greg Keelor talking about singing with someone for many years.
• My life right now seems to have taken on a different landscape. Almost dimensionally different. It feels like I have finally found myself.  at 50.
• Accidental and incidental things become part of the fabric of our journey
• Me and Jason. At the heart of it we're just two (too) young adolescents. I hope we never forget that.
• The older I get, the more I realize I need to be older still to understand better.
• When stuck ask yourself, do you want to be comfortable or do you want to grow?  Generally people want to grow.
• For most of our lives we are either politicians preachers or prosecutors when we talk to people.  Preaching about what they need to do right, prosecuting for what they did wrong, and politicians who are trying to garner favor.
• As we get older nuances in friendships and relationships become more important as does humility.