Up and Down

For the past few years I have not slept well.  For a couple of years I slept in 30-60 minute chunks for most of the night, never really getting much deep sleep which left me groggy and not as clear-headed as I would have liked.  I would lie in bed and overthink and re-think random things in a strange thought loop that would often prevent me from drifting off to sleep.  I discovered that magnesium before bed had the effect of helping me to sleep for up to 5 hours at a time which was amazing.  CBD gummies also seem to knock me out for a few hours.  Sometimes, however, my thought-loop continues as I spiral through random things that I cannot control or potential things that may or may not happen.  Over the past couple of months I have developed an internal mantra that I tell myself at night when I catch myself going over details or events repeatedly.  I picture it like a mountain as I repeat to myself internally.  "Shut the fuck up, and calm the fuck down".  I repeat this in my head as many times as necessary and it acts as kind of like a meditation to calm me down.  Shut the fuck up meaning there is no sense going over this as I can't do anything about it from my bed.  Calm the fuck down is my equivalent to "it is what it is".  Whatever is going to happen, or has already happened, I certainly can't control it from my bed, so let it go and go to sleep.  This doesn't always work, but I am getting better at using the technique to break the thought-loop cycle and reframe my headspace into sleep-mode.