RIP Mom

Well, it has been one of the toughest weeks of my life.  On January 31, 2014 I said goodbye to my mom, Brenda Eileen Wartman.  After a long battle with COPD, her body finally gave up fighting.  Her battle started in 2009.  After a lifetime of smoking, her lungs finally had enough and she was hospitalized.  Over the past 4 years she had her ups and downs and there were a few times when we thought the end was near.  However, she fought hard and managed to achieve her last few milestones.  The birth of her 10th grandchild, David Gallant; her 65th birthday, alongside my grandmother who celebrated her 93rd birthday; her first old age security cheque, and our entire family together for Christmas. 

The past week has been an emotional rollercoaster, with the lows of realizing that my mother won't be around to watch her grandkids grow up, to the highs of seeing the support of my friends and family coming together in an outpouring of compassion and love.

While the funeral itself was brutal, I found the wake strangely comforting and empowering.  I gave Dad a piece of advice before it started, saying to "try to gather a bit of strength from each person coming through the line" and I think that's what we all did. 

While I appreciated everyone who was there, I found that those people who had lost a parent seemed to have an intrinsic understanding of the pain I was dealing with and were able to offer a deeper empathetic response.  I am hopeful that I, too, will be able to better offer my sympathies when dealing with others pain in the coming years.   One of the nuggets of wisdom that stood out for me, was from Jason Arsenault who lost his dad to cancer 2 years ago.  He said it took him a solid year to come to terms with his dad's death, and one of the things he realized is that life is too short to be doing things that you don't want to.  He ended up started a new career because of it.  While I don't think I will be leaving my position anytime soon, I am hopeful that as I make choices in the future, I will have a better clarity and perspective.

RIP Mom.  You will be remembered as a strong, determined woman who loved her family.