50 - Part I

So I thought about starting this post with a clever quote or line or nugget or wisdom, but it turns out that what works best for me, at least so far, is just being honest and vulnerable and speaking what is true from the heart.  So here are some rambling unscripted unedited thoughts as I turn 50.  I have officially been 50 now for 25 solid minutes, so I feel well-versed to speak knowledgeably on the subject :)

Meandering Thoughts

• We have zero concept of how the world really works.  Regardless of all of the books, theories, opinions and ideas humans are still throwing darts randomly trying to understand our role in the universe.
• Organized religion, even those with good intentions, have the effect of controlling the masses.  
• Any younger version of myself would be so blown away by how much I have accomplished and grown to this point. 
• Not everyone has the luxury of seeing the milestone of 50 years on this planet.  I realize how lucky  I am just to be here let alone thriving and succeeding.  I am proud and confident and optimistic about the future.
• I can't begin to wrap my head around the past few weeks of chaos as I re-enter the theatre world, but I know that it has a deeper meaning for me and continues to teach me lessons and remind me of all of the skills and experience and depth that I have and how many doors are open for me as I move forward.
• I wish I had started documenting key moments in my life earlier to be able to use them as reminders of all of the good in my life.  That is irrelevant now, but what is important to me is that I have been documenting things all of my life.  From the funny notes I used to leave mom and dad, to the letters I would send to Cheryl, to my diary from grade 12, to all of my poetry and short stories and thoughts from university ramblings, to writing songs and poetry including cheryl and andrew's songs, to keeping this blog going for the last years and even including all of my emails, texts, and work documents.  I have always been a writer at heart.  and now I have the opportunity to write in whatever format I want.  I used to get bogged down into the fact that a writer had to write a 300 page novel and it had to be good.  Writing now is random, sporatic and lawless.
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