Carpe Diem

It is easy to forget sometimes that life is supposed to be fun.  I mean, let's be realistic.  How many of us go through each day actively enthusiastic about the day ahead of us.  No, typically we wake up tired and sore and a bit cranky and then slowly "get through" the day only to end each day exhausted only to start the process over again each day.  Where is the fun in that?  Instead we set goals to be happy and have fun down the road without remembering the simple fact that the journey is the adventure.  There is no guarantee of anything else beyond this moment.  So have fun with it.

I find myself at another liminal point today.  Regardless of the outcome of this possibility, my life is now changed as it has changed my perspective on how I live.  

On a lark, I responded to a facebook ad looking for an actor to be a part of a 4-hander show written by and starring Lorne Elliot.  The show opens in 3 weeks so they are desperate.  I put myself out there and responded to the ad and they asked me for a video clip.  I sent the clip and am now awaiting a response.  

I was going to wait until I heard back before posting here, but I find it very cathartic to write during these liminal points of transition.  In these brief moments, my mind is open to bigger things than my usual 9-5 daily routine.  I see possibilities of bigger - and more importantly 'funner' - things.  They might not happen, but even thinking about them lends an air of optimism and positivity into this drab world. 

So, here I stand.  And here are the key things standing out for me right now.  

Pros:  I turn 50 in 3 weeks.    I am not feeling fulfilled in my job and am searching for something with more creativity using my artistic side.  This actor role just appeared out of nowhere.  I have been constantly telling the kids to go after what they want and not to settle for anything less.  This is in my wheelhouse.  I am a longtime fan of Lorne Elliot back to his just for laugh days and singing Gettin Granny Plastered to Nanny.  They agreed to work around my schedule.  It is a paid gig.  It is only for a few weeks and does not interfere with our trip to Italy.  It will definitely get me out of my usual routine.

Cons:  I am scared I might forget my lines as I sometimes search for my words lately.

On a sidenote, Mark Wells Brother Cory died last week at 50 which has intensified things in my little world.

So I sent in my video, and the ball is now in their court.  My expected outcomes:

1. I get the part.  I remember why I love acting, reconnect with my passions and life is wonderful :)
2. I get the part.  It is a lot of work, in the end I am exhausted, but it still allows me to see a life beyond work and use creative skills.
3. I get the part.  It sucks.  Lesson learned.  Maybe my acting days are over.  Still good to take the shot.
4. I don't get the part.  Oh well.  It was a long shot anyway.  This way I don't have to make a decisions.
5. I don't get the part.  It is a tough life lesson that even when things look like they are lining up, nothing in life is a guarantee.  This is a great lesson both for me as well as leading by example for my kids.

The commonality in all of these outcomes is that they all start with wanting to have more fun.  Even the exercise of submitting the audition piece was more fun than a lot of my daily tasks. 

I am now basking in the warmth of this liminal period where the walls are down and new options and possibilities abound.  I used to describe a 'spark of madness' needed to light a fire under me and this might have ignited something regardless of the outcome of the audition.

To be continued...