The dust has settled on the chaos of the past few weeks and things are starting to get back to normal.
I notice that I still have moments of enlightenment and incredulity about the world around me, but that is fading quickly. My writing here is getting less frequent and less passionate. I guess that is the normal ebb and flow of life. We all have our highs and lows. I am glad that I got to experience this last high and document it in relative real time so that I can remember how excited I felt in that liminal space. My brain was making lots of connections and seeing lots of possibilities, but the farther that I get away from that liminal experience, the weaker my connection to the possibilities becomes.
Sometimes I feel like I have been re-living aspects of my life over again to see if I would make the same choices or different ones. Ever since I got sick, I feel like I have been rebuilding myself and having to make conscious decisions about who I AM. I believe I am a stronger, more self-aware, more vulnerable, more empathetic person and hope to continue on that journey.
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