I printed this for my office, but thought it was important enough to share. Cheryl and I do not fully comprehend how far ahead of the curve we were from 1992-1995 given the complexity of the changes in our life. I love you and our life so much in ways I probably do not even comprehend myself. I just know that I need you and have never felt so complete and seen in my life.
This is from an article I read this week online:
People who had to grow up too fast often display these 9 distinctive behaviors as adults
Growing up — it’s something we all go through, but for some, it happens far too quickly. Being thrust into adult situations and responsibilities at a young age can have a profound impact on one’s development and behavior. I know this firsthand, and if you’re here, you likely do too. People who’ve had to grow up too fast often carry certain distinctive patterns and behavior into adulthood. But how can you identify these behaviors? Well, that’s what we’re going to explore in this article. We’re going to delve into the unique behaviors often displayed by adults who had no choice but to grow up too fast. There’s a lot to unpack here, so let’s start unraveling.
1) You’re no stranger to responsibility
Let’s talk about responsibilities. For those who’ve had to grow up prematurely, responsibilities came early and didn’t let go. These individuals often find themselves naturally taking charge in adult life, simply because they’ve been doing it for as long as they can remember. This isn’t about being a control freak or power hungry. It’s about an ingrained sense of duty and a deep understanding of the consequences of actions. They’re often the ones who keep their calm when things go south. They’ve faced adversity and have developed the resilience to deal with it. They’re the ones who’ll step up to the plate when no one else will, and they won’t shy away from difficult tasks or decisions.
2) You have an old soul
An old soul refers to someone who seems wise beyond their years, someone with a depth of understanding or an unusual sense of maturity. Now, here’s the thing…
Those who had to grow up too fast often fit this description. They’ve seen more, done more, and experienced more than their peers. They’re often the ones who are comfortable in their own company, preferring deep conversations over small talk. They have a sense of calm and wisdom about them that sets them apart. Their early experiences forced them to see the world through a more mature lens, which often translates into them being perceived as an ‘old soul’.
3) Yet, you sometimes feel like an imposter
While those who grew up too fast often display an uncanny maturity, there’s an interesting paradox that emerges. Imposter Syndrome. Even though they might be highly competent and often outperform their peers, these individuals can sometimes grapple with feelings of inadequacy o not being “good enough. They may doubt their accomplishments and have a persistent, internalized fear of being exposed as a fraud. Why does this happen? Well, when children are thrust into adult roles prematurely, they might develop the belief that they must always exceed expectations to be worthy. This can lead to a constant pressure to perform and an inability to internalize success. So, despite outward appearances of competence and confidence, internally, they might feel like they’re just pretending to be an adult.
4) Do you often feel emotionally exhausted?
Emotional exhaustion is more than just feeling tired. It’s a state of feeling emotionally worn-out and drained as a result of accumulated stress from your personal or work lives. People who were forced to grow up too fast often carry a higher emotional load than others. They might have been the ones managing family crises, taking care of siblings, or dealing with complex situations way beyond their years. As adults, they might still be the “go-to” person in their family or friend circle for any crisis, adding to their emotional burden. This constant state of being on high alert can lead to emotional exhaustion over time.
5) Your independence is non-negotiable
Here are a few signs that your independence is a direct result of having to grow up too quickly:
- You prefer doing things on your own, even if help is available; You feel uncomfortable relying on others; You value your autonomy and guard it fiercely; You’re highly self-reliant and self-motivated.
- These traits are not just about being independent. They’re about survival, resilience, and self-preservation. They’re the marks of someone who’s had to fend for themselves from an early age.
6) We struggle to let go
Let’s face it. Letting go can be a real struggle. I know it was for me. Whether it’s a relationship, a job, or a personal belief that no longer serves us, we tend to hold on tighter than most. Why? Well, when you’ve had to shoulder adult responsibilities early on, you learn to value stability and predictability. Change can be unsettling, even if it’s for the better. We might fear that letting go will lead to chaos or loss – feelings we’re all too familiar with from our younger years. So if you find it hard to let go, even when your logical mind tells you it’s the right thing to do, you’re not alone.
7) You’re always prepared for the worst
Imagine this: You’re planning a road trip with friends. While they’re excited about the fun and adventure, you’re the one checking vehicle safety, planning alternate routes, and even packing a first-aid kit. Sound familiar? People who had to grow up too fast often develop a knack for anticipating problems. They’re always prepared for the worst-case scenario. Why?Well, life’s taught them that things can go wrong unexpectedly. As children, they might not have had the luxury to be carefree and unprepared. Now, as adults, they carry this sense of vigilance with them. It’s not that they’re pessimistic; they’re just realistic.
8) Your boundaries are often blurred
I remember when I was a kid, I often found myself playing the role of a parent or counselor to my friends. I was always there to lend an ear, offer advice, or even handle their problems. At the time, it felt like I was just being a good friend. But as an adult, I realized that this habit had led to blurred boundaries in my relationships. You see, when you’re forced into adult roles prematurely, you might end up overextending yourself for others.. You might struggle to say no, even at the cost of your own well-being. This lack of boundary awareness isn’t about being selfless or generous. It’s a coping strategy from childhood that can carry over into adulthood.
9) The most important one: You’re resilient
Life threw you into the deep end at an early age, and you learned to swim rather than sink. You faced challenges that many your age didn’t have to, and you came out stronger.
This resilience is not just about survival. It’s about thriving in the face of adversity thriving in the face of adversity. It is about turning your trials into triumphs. Let me be clear: this doesn’t make the struggles you had to go through any less challenging or unfair. But it does speak volumes about your strength and tenacity.
Are these traits holding you back or propelling you forward?
As we’ve explored, growing up too fast can lead to some distinctive behaviors in adulthood. Some of these behaviors might serve you well, while others might hold you back.
- are your coping mechanisms helping or hindering you?
- Is your resilience turning into stubbornness?
- Are your boundaries healthy or too rigid?
- Growing up too fast is not a choice many of us had. But as adults, we do have a choice in how we let these early experiences shape us.
- The key is to recognize these behaviors, understand their roots, and then make conscious decisions about how we want to live our lives moving forwar
- Remember, it’s not about erasing our past, but about learning from it and using it to become the best versions of ourselves.
- May your journey be one of resilience, growth, and self-discovery.
- In a world brimming with choices and distractions, many of us grapple with the vital question: “What truly matters to me in life?”
- Navigating life’s complexities often leaves little room for self-reflection, making it challenging to identify and embrace our core values.
